What's beyond the Goal?

We all have goals in life and we find ourselves on a continuous journey towards achieving those goals. Whether it be finding a fulfilling career path, having a family, travelling more, improving our cooking skills, winning that contract, finishing that project, running a marathon or becoming a healthier person. The list is endless and it seems that achieving our goals is the ultimate goal! But what happens when we achieve the goal? Say, you have managed to performed the amazing task of running a marathon. What’s next? Another marathon? How many and how often? Or is there something different? Is one marathon enough for you to hang up your running shoes and move onto a different challenge? There are many self-improvement books, courses, seminars and so on that focus on how we can achieve our goals in life but very few look at what comes after we have achieved the goal. This can often lead to a regression back to where we were at the beginning and even elicit feelings of failure or a lack of purpose.

Let’s take losing weight as an example. Rob would like to lose weight and has a specific goal weight in mind. He would likely have to change his lifestyle in order to get to his goal weight. He may need to vary what he eats and exercise more, making conscious choices that are aligned with his goal. This would need to be done consistently over a period of time in order to see results and so Rob eventually forms a routine that builds in time for daily exercise and specific food choices. This forms the basis of building specific habits. A habit can be a thought or action that is done repeatedly and over a continuous period for a particular purpose. There are of course good habits and less resourceful habits. Here, we are looking at the good habits needed for Rob to get to his goal weight. After employing these habits over a period of time, Rob eventually reaches his goal weight. Here is where he needs to be mindful about his choices going forward. He can either choose to keep these good habits going and continue to live a healthier lifestyle or give up these habits, thinking that he is now at his goal weight, only to end up back at square one shortly afterwards. Ideally Rob would keep his good habits going, having seen the positive results of his efforts. Habits can take effort to maintain for some people so how does a person find the motivation to do this? We will look at this now.

It is important to reflect on the underlying reason for having a goal. What drives Rob to feel that he would like to get to a particular target weight? It can be easy to identify the typical reasons – avoiding judgement from others, wanting to feel attractive, wanting to have more energy, wanting to be part of the healthy lifestyle trend. These are all surface reasons. If Rob wants to avoid regressing back to his initial pre-goal state, he needs to explore his subconscious reasons for having this goal. The reason needs to be strong enough and worthwhile enough for Rob to maintain his new habits indefinitely. This is where we begin to get into the areas of values, beliefs and identity.

In these cases it is helpful for Rob to ask himself questions such as:

· Question: What do I get out of maintaining these new lifestyle habits?

o Answer could be: I become a healthier person and gain more confidence.

· Question: What does being a healthier person and having confidence mean to me?

o Answer could be: I have more energy to do more of what I enjoy and I am able to express myself without fear of judgement from others.

· Question: What is important to me about doing more of what I enjoy and not having fear of judgement?

o Answer could be: I am living productively and with purpose, knowing that am being true to my own values.

Can you see how this exercise reveals much more than the initial desire of losing weight? Only by having thoughts and taking actions that align with our values, beliefs and identity can we find the motivation to maintain these new habits so that they become a part of our core identity. This is what makes achieving goals possible and ensures that habits are sustainable.