Forming Good Habits…and sticking to them!

I’ve noticed a flurry of self help books having been published over recent years and many of these center around the theme of developing good habits. It seems that as our lives are becoming busier than ever it is important to develop good habits so that we can achieve our goals and ultimately live according to our core identities, beliefs and values.

Forming good habits is more than just about making sure we do our chores and living according to preconditioned social expectations. They manifest into the reality that we create for ourselves. They are the basis for creating the lives that we desire because we get back what we put out into the world. The good news is that anyone can develop good habits that are sustainable. Yes, really! So how do we form good habits that are sustainable? To start with, we need to dig deep and examine our thoughts and emotions as these influence our behaviour. Ask yourself questions such as, “What do I think about the habit I wish to develop? What are my motivations around this? What will I get out of building this habit? What would be the consequences if I didn’t have this habit in my life?” There needs to be a positive intention behind the habit otherwise you wouldn’t be considering it in the first place!

Now have a think about how you feel about the habit, that is, your emotions. Don’t judge them or try to change them at this stage, just examine them. If your emotions are ones of apathy, lack of motivation and hesitancy then you can certainly turn these around by revisiting the questions that you asked yourself when examining your thoughts. What will building this habit ultimately give you? Something good, I’m sure. So have a think about how you would feel as you show up as the person who performs this good habit. How would this change your life and those around you? Imagine yourself as this person living a life of good habits. What do you see and how does it make you feel? How has this changed your initial thoughts about starting this habit? Hold onto the image of yourself showing up as the person performing good habits and draw upon the uplifting feelings associated with those thoughts. This will feed into your emotions and your behaviour, making it much easier for you to start building a habit and sustaining it.

Let’s move onto behaviour. There is no doubt that sustaining a habit requires consistency and repetition. This doesn’t mean that it should be considered a chore or nuisance. Again, remember the questions you have asked yourself while looking at your thoughts and emotions about the habit and draw upon the positive feelings associated with the results of having this habit in your life. Once you see results, you will find yourself automatically incorporating the habit into your life and no longer consciously thinking about it. If you find it difficult to maintain consistency, start by carving out time in a diary or planner for the actions required to develop the habit. I would suggest keeping to the same time each day or week for consistency. Even better, reward yourself each time you have completed this habit. This will feed into the joyful emotions associated with the habit. You could also have an accountability partner to keep you on track!

Finally, be patient and kind to yourself. Developing a good habit can take time and there will be days where you feel less motivated or miss your “habit appointment”. On those days, get yourself into a resourceful state by doing some exercise, meditation, reading, enjoying your favourite meal or watching a fun series. This will put you into the right state for following through on your habit next time. Trust the process and you will be reaping the rewards before you know it!