Feeling Stuck and Becoming Unstuck

That feeling of being stuck. We’ve all been there. We know that we don’t want to be where we are but we are unable to make a change. Ever wondered why that could be? On the surface it may be obvious. For example, we may stay in a job that we don’t like because we have bills to pay and need the income, meanwhile we lack the motivation or energy to look for another job due to working 12 hour days. A very common and understandable scenario. It doesn’t have to be that way. We don’t have to be at the mercy of what we don’t want. The key is in making a subtle but powerful shift in mindset to give us Clarity.

As I’ve said, we normally know what we don’t want and we tend to focus on this but many of us don’t focus on what we do want and therefore we don’t know what that is exactly. So we end up trying to move away from what we don’t want rather than moving towards what we do want and we remain stuck. Do you see the subtle difference there? If we don’t clarify what we do want then how can we set a goal and put a process plan in place to move towards that goal? The goal doesn’t exist yet. The existing mentality is away from rather than towards. That is why it is important and necessary to first have clarity on what you do want. By having clarity, you will find yourself gradually becoming unstuck and moving towards your desired outcome.

You may be wondering, how do I work out what I do want then? Going back to the example of being in a job that you don’t enjoy, well what does your dream job look like? What aspects of your dream job are important to you? Could it be being able to spend more time with your family? Travelling opportunities? Routine and stability? Flexibility? A higher salary? Helping others? Imagine how you would feel while doing your dream job each day. Who have you become as a result of doing your dream job? These are all questions that you can ask yourself so that you can hone in on your beliefs and values to pinpoint what is important to you. It can be helpful to write down answers to these questions as it makes the process of self-discovery more powerful. You can then start to shape a goal or well-formed outcome that you can actively work towards. You can also go one step further and write down the consequences of inaction (staying where you are now) and the consequences of pursuing your outcome.

When doing this, it is important to be completely honest with yourself and open to any revelations that happen along the way. You may think that you want a higher salary but this could be a result of past conditioning from society or well-meaning loved ones. You may instead really desire flexibility over a high salary as this would give you more control over how you live your life. Think carefully about what it is you want and once you have attained clarity, you can start to plan the process of attaining your desired outcome. It is much easier to develop a plan or process when you are clear about your goal.

This isn’t to say that the process will lead to the exact outcome you have in mind. You could find along the way that you want to revise aspects of your goal after having more insights. Be open to the possibility that your outcome may also be different to how you imagined it would be. It could be better or worse or just different and unexpected. This is all perfectly fine and these results are simply feedback continuously clarifying and helping you to understand what you need to do next so that you move towards the life that you desire.