A View on Perspective

In this post I’d like to explore a topic that I believe is relevant to all of us, regardless of our backgrounds, values, beliefs and social conditioning. That topic is Perspective. What does this really mean? Generally speaking, it refers to the way we each view objects and situations and the meanings we attribute to these. The meanings we attribute to objects and situations inform our emotions, responses and behaviours. If we are attached to our own perspectives due to our individual conditioning, values and beliefs, it can be easy to become protective (or defensive) of these views regardless of any new evidence that may present itself. This is also where certain habits can develop, which can be challenging to break though certainly not impossible. The choice is yours to be open to receiving and accepting new information and expanding upon the perspectives you have long held. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with them, only to be open to understanding that there are other ways to view things. Yes, the choice is yours!

You’ll notice I said each when I described the meaning of Perspective and this is very important to note. When we are overly protective of our individual perspectives, in the absence of understanding and acceptance, this can sometimes cause conflict when our views clash the views of others. Although the choice is yours to decide how you receive and respond to differing views, our innate protectiveness of our identity, beliefs and values along with social conditioning make for a real challenge when attempting to be open to new perspectives. The good news is that there are ways to develop a more open and accepting mindset that will ultimately be beneficial to you. Your understanding and compassion towards others and their perspectives will mean that you are spending less energy needlessly stewing over proving your own perspectives in a misguided attempt to protect yourself and instead enable you to direct your focus towards more important things in your life.

Getting slightly more technical now, there is one technique that I have personally found useful when encountering a different viewpoint or even just trying to get a better, broader understanding of a particular situation. I use a Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) technique called Perceptual Positioning that involves embodying the other person. Yes, that’s right – embodying them. Not literally of course but close! Take a moment to imagine yourself physically being the other person in both mind and body. How do they hold themselves? How do they think? How do they sound? Look at yourself through their eyes and consider their thought processes. Imagine the real you speaking to this person that you are embodying and think about how they would respond. After doing this for a few minutes, “return” to your own self and shake yourself off. This exercise helps you to understand why the other person may hold a particular viewpoint and why they would respond in a certain way. This then enables you to develop more compassion and understanding when encountering a different view from them next time.

The Perceptual Positioning exercise can also be done in the third person where you place yourself completely outside of the situation and become an observer. In this scenario, you are a neutral third person watching the interaction between your real self and the other person. This can produce surprising insights. The beauty of this exercise is that it also has the effect of helping you to reframe your thoughts and perspectives, even your beliefs. You are able to let go of your attachment to specific views and redirect your energy towards creating the life you want for yourself. When doing this exercise, I would suggest starting on a topic or with a person that you feel less strongly about to avoid the risk of having an extreme reaction on either side.

Of course if things became heated (generally because each of you holds a strong attachment to your individual perspectives), the best thing to do would probably be to simply walk away and bring yourself back to a neutral state. There is no use in trying to do these exercises when your fight or flight response is activated and all that adrenaline is coursing through your body. That’s OK too, just try again next time and keep practising on different people in different situations. There is no end to personal growth so don’t limit yourself by thinking that you have failed. Results are purely feedback that you can use to understand what you can do differently next time.